Fear of Love
By Moushumi Kumar
Most relationships are dysfunctional not due to lack of love but presence of fear. Fear that has been instilled in us from childhood, from our first heartbreak and perhaps from past lives as well. Becoming aware of your own fears can save you from abandoning healthy relationships for unhealthy ones.
Two main fears in relationships are fear of abandonment versus the fear of intimacy. Once paired up these two fears have the ability to kill the most fulfilling love. Love has been losing in the presence of fear. Usually people with these two fears experience an instant attraction, chemistry like no other, passion that is almost fatal. The attraction between the two people is not an attraction of love but an attraction of fear. People with fear of abandonment magically get attracted to people with fear of intimacy and the dance begins.
Many believe that this is a soul mate connection, but what's the point of having a soul mate if we can't even mate. Why then do we run from the one that makes us whole. It doesn't make sense.
Why do we pullback? Why do we engulf? Why do we turn possessive and why does jealousy take over. It's not because of love but because of fear.
Your soul mate comes in your life with an intention to show you your fears so you have the opportunity to heal that fear. You get to meet the real you and that can be scary. Everything that you have been hiding is out in the open. Hidden shame and guilt, hidden fears and pain together with all your unresolved emotions.
Most of us after experiencing such connection run. Yes run. Run for the hill, where nobody knows us that well. Where we can pretend to be strong, smart and together.
Until you heal your fears, it won't be possible for you to experience real love. Real love which can only be experienced if you remain your real self. If you get accepted as you are.
Accept yourself with all your flaws. All your shortcomings and insecurities. It's ok to feel and live negative emotions. Feel and accept every emotion for what it is and release it with true acceptance and no judgement.
Once you accept yourself, others around you will start accepting you as you are. You will know what love really feels like. You may attract new people who share the same energy. You might even rescue your existing relationships.
Your most intimate relationships only mirror back to you your deepest darkest fears. If you hold fear, fear will get reflected right back. Choose love not fear. Make a conscious decision to reflect love. Once the internal shift occurs, your relationships change right in front of your eyes and an inner peace takes over.
When love replaces fear, your relationships start reflecting back love, the emptiness you felt disappears. This love was never outside of you, was never at mercy of a soul connection. This love was always in you. The main person that needed your love is you.
The best relationships can be experienced between two whole and complete individuals that bring to each other love not fear. Our soul mates come into our lives to show us our fears so we can heal them and learn to love ourselves unconditionally. We can then take that love and share it openly and freely.
Become innocent once more. Bring down your walls. You are smart and strong enough to love without barriers. You know how to take care of yourself. You are whole and complete by yourself and now the love that you give will be given with no expectation of what it will give you in return.
Bring your whole self to your relationships.
Feel the Love.
Abandon the fear not the relationship.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6860644
0 komentar:
Posting Komentar